Hints for Obama from 007

When I went to the Road Runner home page the other day to read my horoscope I came across this news feed, “Ho Hum Obama on the Brink of Democratic Nomination”.

While it is obvious that the 2012 elections is shaping up to be far less exciting than the 2008 election, it also seems true that we are beginning to expect elections that resemble action flicks. So President Obama I am offering a few pointers for the 2012 election. Sorry, considering the way things are going of late and considering how much we all like Michelle, my suggestions will not include any womanizing, although in every other way you are welcome to act like 007.

Hint 1: Get a Presidential sports car, American made of course, so no Maserati’s (unless they are now being made in America), but here are some very nice examples:

I prefer the Corvette, but you have some latitude here.

Hint 2:  Wear you tuxedo – it looks nice and puts you in a league with other 00’s

Hint 3: Pose with guns and flames, but don’t actually shoot anything.

Hint 4: People on the Internet suggest that your drink should be a variation on a chocolatini called an Obamatini. While this drink is a little complex for the man on the go, even a President and a candidate has a little time to kick back (no casinos though).

Hint 5: Get a car elevator that is better than the one Mitt Romney is getting. Get one like that one in Mumbai in the movie Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol for the White House. Perhaps Warren can foot the bill. He probably likes a little razzle dazzle in a campaign. It could be better than the bat cave.

Hint 6: Race at least one cabin cruiser (perhaps a souped up one, but not a cigarette boat) down the Potomac perferably at dusk with fireworks. This outfit looks good for cruising too so wear this.

´╗┐That should do it for the action part. You will have to decide how to fit all the speeches about jobs and budgets into this 007 format without creating a buzz kill. Keep it brief, keep it exciting, and don’t worry too much about the content. Let the action affirm your manliness and your whimsical yet strong talent at taking down the bad guys, oops, I mean the opposition. It’s what the public wants, drama and testosterone. Keep the expenses down though please.

Since no one seems able to comment on my blog I will put my sister, Bonnie’s comment here. She says, “Ha, Ha! I like your style. Of course then would have to face all the auto makers, the non-drinkers, the economists for using so much gas in a frivolous purchase (the boat), and the general public for wasting so much time on social activities.”